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Tales of the Singular Gamer – Part 4

Bad Decisions II

Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Rolling Dice

That’s right 40K fans Bad Decisions 2 has been and gone so it’s time to give you the low down on what happened.

First up Bad Decisions is a team based tournament over a weekend, with 4 players in each team. My team consisted of myself running a Chaos soup army, Commander O’Shea using a Knight list, Sean Morris Systems with his Tau and a ginger using Eldar. (To be fair Brian is a cool guy and anybody who says otherwise is obviously worse than a ginger.)

So we had the team assembled we just needed a name Team Mongo was the first one, then it changed to Team Exile and also to Team The Bump, it would transpire over the course of the tournament that we would have more team names than team wins.

My list was a Lord of Skulls, Magnus, Mortation, 2 Daemon Princes with extra shit and a Warpsmith, not the most meta of lists but it’s what I had to hand and was ready to go…so on with the event.

The first match was against Team Power Gamers…now to give you an idea of the difference between the scope of our team against our opponents then it would be like Crinkly Bottom FC, made up of plumbers, office workers and honest hard working Joe Bloggers who after a long shift at work need to get ready for a game football against a team assembled from the elite clubs of the world with no expense spared with more wealth wafting about the place than most small island countries and some large ones as well. Yes our hopes for anything out of this first round were slim…except for Sean who was well up for it. So the pairings got sorted out and I was up against Innes the Chairman himself…oh dear…

Innes was using a Genestealer spam style army (that I am shamelessly going to be copying for my own Nids in the future) with a small allied force of Genestealer Cults. The game itself was good, I did get to roll lots of dice and kill lots of stealers however that’s as far as the goodness went for me. Innes introduced me to a new psychic power that I had never came across before, Mind Control, he introduced this to me by taking control of my Lord of Skulls and then destroying Magnus with it, boo hiss. I was sticking it out the best I could but it’s a bad sign when you score your one and only maelstrom point in turn 3 or 4, I can’t remember which and saying either makes it sound bad, as I got tabled soon after. First game down and no points scored, not only for me but for the whole team surely the next game would go better…

…Well you would think that but…

I was paired against Derek in the second game and fuelled by a quick trip to the pub, I was ready to claim a victory and get some much needed points for the team…I should have just stayed in the pub. Derek was using an amazingly painted Scion army with an Imperial Knight tagging along, lots of plasma guns and Taurox vehicles, now would be a good time to point out that Derek killed more of his own plasma gunners than I did…which I found very funny but Derek found it less funny at the time. I started on the front foot and went all in for the aggressive approach which was doing alright until I got The Turn, most people will have experienced The Turn at some point or another. The Turn is that one turn in which something happens that changes the game, either for the better or for the worse and that something can be anything from you make all your hit and wound rolls or you miss them all, you make an obscene amount of saves or you can’t even buy save from Save’s R Us (wholesale chain for all your save making needs). Well I had The Turn and I couldn’t make any saves, not even with bonus discounts from Saves R Us. So no saves mean things not living and when things are not living anymore they can’t do very much in the game…but I was scoring points. After Derek had dispatched my Lord of Skulls, Magnus, Mortarion and the two Daemon Princes he started to count up the scores and it worked it be a draw, he thought he had tabled me but he had forgotten, and so did I to be honest, my Warpsmith that was hiding behind a building the whole game not doing very much but claiming an objective for me. So with my one model left against Derek’s Knight, about four Taurox’s and some troops and characters, I offered him the draw, which for some reason he took longer than expected to mull over. After a few minutes he decided he should go all out for the tabling win and wouldn’t be taking me up on my generous draw proposition…bad news for him as I made him wait a whole extra turn before he got to kill my last remaining model, oh I showed him.

So after two games still no points but surely my fellow team mates will have fared better and Liam had, Liam scored a massive twenty points in his game making him King Mongo, Sean had managed to get five points making him Prince Mongo and Brian suffered the same fate as me making us just Mongo Mongo’s.

A new day and a new chance at winning and point’s glory. First up Andy and his Inquisition army, I have known Andy for a long time but never played him so was looking forward to a fun game. Once again I experienced The Turn but this time it was in my favour in which I made a lot of clutch saves so although Andy did manage to whittle down my models to a few wounds remaining each, he couldn’t finish them off which in the end helped me secure a win finally. Andy’s game was summed up, pretty much, when he had to make about eight three plus invun saves and passed zero. It did get a little undignified at the end when he asked me not to table him but his pleas fell on deaf ears with Mortarion blasting away the last Inquisitor dude with his plasma lantern pistol spunk gun thing…take that imperium muthafucka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last game was against Tau and it was the Relic…boo…gun line Tau can make very short work of a six model army, and it started out that way with the Lord of Skulls getting blown away first turn didn’t even get to move it, double boo. But the Princes and Magnus did manage to get in amongst the Tau lines to cause massive damage and disruption. Mortarion didn’t fair too well but at least he managed to take down some troublesome Tau tanks before exploding in a shower of snottters, wee wees and poo. But his sacrifice made it easier for his inbred hillbilly brother Magnus the Moonshine Red to barge in and smash them with his smite banjo. However the terrible twosome fannies were to be overshadowed by my mighty warlord Mofo Brown, bad ass Daemon Prince of Slaanesh with his can of Tennets special brew (intoxicating elixir) and unholy fortitude he triumphantly stood on the relic and dared the remaining Tau to remove him and they couldn’t, he was still standing all triumphant with one wound remaining and his giant snake like chubby throbbing majestically at the Tau in mocking glory. The dice was rolled to see if the game would finish and it did, so another glorious win.

So after four excellent games it was 2 loses and 2 wins which I am happy with, but the day would get even better, as when the awards were getting dished out at the end Team Mongo/Exile/The Bump won best sporting so we each got to go home with a fancy trophy, very nice and totally unexpected as I was a right c**t to all my opponents.

But congratulations must go to Innes, Bernard, Duncan and Gordon for winning the event, a massive thank you to all my opponents over the weekend all the games were great fun and really enjoyable, even when I was the pumpee and not the pumper. Another massive thank you must also go to Commander O’Shea for organising the whole thing and to all the staff at Common Ground Games.

Now let’s get back to painting these bleedin’ Nids.


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