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Tales of the Singular Gamer – Part 1

So here we go 40k fans, I am embarking on a great hobby voyage of self-discovery and enlightenment…or some such bollocks.

The Greatest Lover in the World Liam O’Shea has tasked me to come up with some ideas for some articles and this dear reader is the first one.

What I plan to do is start a brand new army, collect the models, build them up, paint them and play games and let the army grow over the future months. Much like the Tales of Four Gamers from the pages of White Dwarf except I don’t have enough friends to make it up to four so it’s more Tales of the Singular Gamer.

But no matter…The outcome of this will be a fully painted army that I can use in games and tournaments to obliterate all that stand before me in a quest for table top glory*. But how to start this undertaking, my first thought was getting the Greatest Lover in the World to pick an army for me but he was not keen on this idea as he thought that if it all went a bit pear shaped I could heap all the blame onto him (which I would have of course). I didn’t want to just pick an army myself as, being a Libra, I am very bad at making decisions. I am usually late for work most mornings, as it takes about 45 minutes just to decide which way I should be hanging that day – and that’s only three choices left, right or straight up…anyway…point is I would pick one army, then less than a day later I would start thinking and wondering if I had made the wrong choice…

So in the end I decided to do it the most hi-tech way I could think of and put all the army names in a bowl (no suitable hats were available at the time) to pluck out the newly selected choice and the army that was thusly plucked was……………………………………………..TYRANIDS!!!


That’s right 40K fans there is a new Hive Fleet in town and it’s not going to take any shit from nobody, biomass all round.

Now there will be some out there reading this on the interweb highways thinking; but Nids took a hit with the nerf bat with the new FAQ taking away flying Hive Tyrant spam; which is a blow as most Nid lists I have seen at tournaments have about five to six of the big flying brutes and usually finish well in these tournaments. So it could be said that I am getting on board the Nid train after its left the station, arrived at its destination and on its return journey.

But I poo poo this and I poo poo because I don’t think I am missing out really, yes I understand it was a super powerful build and I understand that I won’t be able to take advantage of this tactic but I wasn’t doing a Nid list when it was about and had no plans to jump on board that gravy train so I am perfectly happy with growing a Nid army post FAQ and really looking forward to seeing what utterly dominating force* I can come up with in the new rules environment.

But why do this to yourself I hear those that are still reading cry out. A few reasons actually:

  • I’m very much a magpie when it comes to this great hobby of ours. I can come up with an idea for an army, plan it all out in my head, research it online and then about a week later another idea has captured my imagination. So what ends up happening is lots of army lists but no end results. So I am hopeful that by doing a monthly article about how the army is coming on and whereabouts I am with it, it will force me to be more focused and actually get a finished army out of it


  • My hobby time is limited what with work, family life and other distractions, also it doesn’t help that it seems to take an age for me to complete something, I can spend about two weeks painting a model and not even have it finished just with getting home late, spending time with the family. Spare time is a rare commodity for most gamers I think and spare time disappears faster than my dignity in a kebab shop.  But again with doing this as a monthly blog it will help me prioritise my spare time to hobby goodness, get models built, painted to a stricter time schedule will be very helpful in getting in the swing of not spending half a year to only paint one unit.


  • At one point many moons ago, about 43, I used to have a large collection of fully painted Chaos Space Marines and Orks which I played a lot and really had a great time smashing all before me into lumps of mashed meat unless, of course, I was the one on the end of the tenderising. But then Age of Fucking Sigmar came out and I was so angry at this that I decided burn both my large collections, my DVDs, my computer games and my underwear…no…hold on that was just a dream I had. No what happened was I had to sell a lot of my collection so that I could offer the silver and gold as a tribute to the dark gods of parenthood so now I have hardly any Orks left and a not so large selection of Chaos Space Marines.  So I would like this endeavour to produce a large collection of Nids that I can use to smash all before me once more into lumps of mashed meat unless, of course, I am the one that that is on the end of the tenderising (pffft as if)*


The one major thing I will need to watch out for is the cost, my Faberge egg collection is less expensive than collecting an army from Games Workshop, put in all the boring stuff like making sure the heating stays on in the house and having some food to eat kicking about somewhere, not to mention all the important stuff that still needs looked after like keeping up to date with the galaxy’s greatest comic this could be a recipe for disaster. However with sticking to my monthly schedule this should see the cost for the army stay at a manageable level…you will know if this has backfired when you see the just giving page Help the Hive Fleet get set up all donations welcome.

So what is the first steps for my newly formed hive fleet? Well I have picked up the codex and the start collecting set, these seem like sensible places to begin. I need the codex to know what I am actually doing, instead of just bluffing my way through games with half formed ideas of what the rules might be as I normally do and the start collecting set gives me some buttery gribblies to get stuck into building.

So what are my targets for a month’s time? I plan to have read the codex from start to finish as often as possible so that I get to know the fluff and the rules, hopefully to such a degree that I’ll be on Mastermind at some point with Tyranids as my specialist subject scoring maximum points but still failing horribly at general knowledge. I also want to have all the models from the start collecting set built up and ready to start against all those that dare oppose me.

So next time you shall have the fortune or misfortune to read about my thoughts on the Nid codex, the fluff, the rules, the smell and the taste as well as my thoughts on how easy the models were to put together, my thoughts on the models themselves. If any of my hive mind brothers and sisters have any tips or sneaky tactics then please let me know…it’s all for the greater good…wait that’s not right…………………

So until next time keep it gribbly

*false bravado 100% guaranteed

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